These 3. My heart. I could never even begin to put into words the amount that I love them. I love them with a love that one couldn't possibly understand until having had your own children. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be one thing. A mommy. I am literally living my dream. I I prayed from the time that Sean and I got married that The Lord would see fit to bless us with children. I wasn't sure how many, what genders they would be, who they would look like or what their personalities would be like, but it didn't matter. I could never have picked out 3 more perfect children. Not because they are perfect in their behavior, but because of the way each of them fits into our family is just perfect.
They keep me on my toes and make me a better person. Honestly they do. Porter is quick to tell me "we don't say that in this family" when I've said something ugly. He is as much of a neat freak as his mama, so leaving messes out just doesn't happen. Savannah quickly reminds us to pray each and every time we sit down at the table or lay them down for sleep. She is teaching me patience in a way that I would have never learned on my own. Sullivan's smiley, sweet, chubby baby self is teaching me how to pray for grace on an hourly (at times by the minute) basis to make it through the day with a happy heart on far too little sleep. The selflessness required while raising my 3 couldn't have been learned anywhere else. But trust me, I've still got a lot to learn. And I couldn't be more glad to have them as my teachers, Having children has had a way of bringing out the worst in me at times. Your true character shines on the battlefield, right?! Seeing the ugliness in my own heart has made my Heavenly Father's unconditional love for me shine in a whole new light.
While some mornings start a little earlier than I would prefer, waking up to these 3 precious sleepy faces and getting to start our day together is a blessing I could have never even known to ask for. Having 3 tiny, beautiful (yes, I do think my children are the 3 most beautiful people I've ever laid eyes on. Next to their Daddy, of course ;) creatures that rely on me for nearly every single part of their lives is both the greatest privilege and greatest responsibility I've ever known.
And while mornings are (usually) fun, it's this time, bedtime, that I wish I could bottle up and save. For one day I know that these evenings will be just memories and likely hazy ones at that. When my 3 littles are fed, clean, and in pajamas all snuggled in our bed. Everyone is winding down from the day. We brush teeth, watch a cartoon, read a book and say prayers. It's in those little moments that we are (without realizing it) teaching our children how to pray, how to love their siblings, how to cherish our time together as a family, how to enjoy a good story, how to obey mom and dad when we say time is up and how to love life. The smell of their sweet heads as they cuddle up against me fills my soul with happiness. The feel of their tiny, squishy hands as they hold mine and the warmth of their tiny bodies snuggled beside me are feelings that I know I will long for with all of my heart when they are too big (in their eyes) to do it any longer. The tickles and giggles that fill the room as we try and prod them from our bed to theirs are sounds that will forever fill my heart and make me a blessed woman. These nights with my precious babies are my favorite time of day. I know that they will pass all too quickly, and so even when I am tempted to hurry them into bed because I am so very tired, I force myself to picture the nights way, way, WAY down the road when we have released them into the world to go and live their own lives and they will tuck themselves into bed without a kiss from mommy. And kissing their sleepy heads seems all the sweeter ;)
Thank you Lord for seeing fit to use these 3 wonderful, special kids to make me the person I always dreamt of being. A mommy.
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